TO KILL OR BE KILLED: A TRUE CRIME MEMOIR FROM PRISON
True Crime Memoir
Obviously, I knew better than to take a life — but that was before. Before him.
The day we met in October of 1997, I was working at the District
Court in Traverse City, Michigan as a Deputy Clerk. It was like most
other days with arraignments, sentencings, civil case hearings and the
like. People shuffling in and out, everyone taking care of their
important business with court appearances, document filings, paying
tickets, fines and bonding loved ones out of jail.
I loved my job. It was extremely satisfying and interesting with
constant interaction with all walks of life, including people on either
end of the judicial spectrum and many in between. Suddenly, there he
was. Tall, handsome, and looking so impressive and important in his
Michigan State Police uniform with his hat, gun belt and badge. A
powerful man who had chosen a profession to serve and protect. He was
extremely friendly and upbeat, smiling profusely. Best of all, he, too,
What could go wrong? He was like a dream man. We clicked,
immediately, and began dating exclusively. But he was not a dream man.
He was a nightmare … as I learned over the next twelve years.
Twelve years of enduring domestic violence at its absolute worse.
Constant abuse, control, manipulation, and threats. Sadistic sexual
deviance and sexual violence. It was only going to end one way: someone
would die in our bed and someone would go to prison for murder.
This is my story about domestic violence, resilience, reckoning and survival.
being released from prison in April of 2017, he returned home to the
house she grew up in and is moving forward with her new, independent
life. She is a strong advocate for victims of domestic violence and has
many family members, friends, and community members that support her and
stand behind her. She hopes that by sharing her story, other victims
will gain the strength to come forward and speak their truth.